However, rather than come back and write, pretending that nothing has happened, I've decided that I would like to just vent to explain where I've been and why I've come back. Doing this might give some clarity but, if for no other reason, it's mostly for the purpose that it gets it all out of my own head.
So, I'd be remiss to not mention that all of this started long before May itself, as the stress of many things all at once (including comics) has given me the feeling of really chipping away at my soul. This came to a head at the beginning of May as my work and home life reached a point of no return and lead me back to Doctors where I realised that my depression had returned. Now, depression isn't really something which comes and goes in my opinion, it being something which is always with you. However, it's the management and control of it which is the key and, at the time, I had neither.
Anyway, Four months later, I've gotten my head back in better shape than I was thanks to getting the right support. However, this wasn't without sacrifice on my part as I decided that I could not continue to split my focus amongst so many things in my life, as that kind of stress would not help me. Therefore, I decided to pull away from comics, quitting my review work for Pipedream Comics, cease blogging, put the dream of writing on hold and give all my attention to my job, my family, and my recovery.
Of course, I'm still a comic book addict and so the thought of no comics at all is rather ludicrous. That said, rather than read them for the purpose of critiquing, I used this time to read comics for the reason they were made: to be enjoyed. This was doubly important because, during my last remission, it was comics have always helped me step away from this dark place I'd found myself in (Comics should totally be available on the NHS). And so, I've read used every spare moment I can muster to read as much as I can and it has been quite a list so far:
- Star Wars: Darth Vader Vol's 3 & 4 (Kieron Gillen run)
- Star Wars: Darth Maul
- Star Wars: Captain Phasma
- Kingpin
- Iron Fist Vol. 1
- Fantastic Four: Island of Death
- Star Wars: Darth Vader Vol. 1 (Charles Soule run)
- Trespasser
- Mother Russia
- Slots
- Daredevil #595-600
- Black Science #35-37
- Secret Wars
- Marvel 2-in-1 Vol. 1
- Harvest
- Point of Impact
- Snapshot
- Demon Knights
- Black Panther: Man Without Fear
- The Massive
- Secret Warriors
- Brightest Day - Justice League: Generation Lost
- Brightest Day - Birds of Prey
- Brightest Day - The Flash
Now though, I am in a better frame of mind and am ready to move back to more of what I used to do and be more me, even if it is only gradually. Therefore, while I probably won't try for the frequency I had once planned, I'm going to try and write on here more,instead focusing on the thoughts, ideas and general ramblings about comics which are in my head.
Meanwhile, I also hope to return to Pipedream Comics (if they'll have me) and get back into the reviewing of some great comics, although maybe not to the 1 review a week level I was previously at. Instead, I've had some ideas brewing in my head that I would like use more of my time to try and turn them into something a bit more substantial, if for nothing other reason than to quell Matt Garvey's constant nagging that I can do it!!
However, all of this may be WAY in the future (well a few months). For now, I just want to get back into the swing of comics and, if nothing else, use this blog as a platform to just ramble about what's in my head in lieu of someone to actually talk to.
A part of me does wish I'd fought through and kept writing but I'm glad I didn't as, looking back, I realised I'd taken too much on. I don't plan on making this mistake again but I'm not sure I can spend anymore time not talking about comics and the thoughts they bring me. Therefore, now that I've vented and gotten this all out of my system, I'm ready to move on and start talking about comics again!
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