My fear of new comic books.

No word of a lie, but since 2019 became 2020, I've found myself struggling with a lack of time and motivation. Whereas last year it seemed like I had an abundance to talk about, so far this year it could be argued that the reverse is true.

One of the main issues is that, during my plans for the year I chose to talk less about specific comics and more about comics in my life and in the community as a whole. Unfortunately, finding some topic I've really wanted to give my feelings about hasn't really happened.

Except for this....

Last night (as of when I wrote this), I tweeted to ask if anyone else ever had the trouble of selecting a new comic to next read from a big selection, confessing that I struggled to find the incentive to do so.

Well, I thought I'd built upon this a little.

As the title explains, I think that the best way to define how I feel is to say that I have a 'fear' of new comic books. Now this is an oversimplification as I love new comics like anyone, but my problem is that when the number of comics I've still got to get around to gets bigger I find it more and more difficult to pick something to actually read. Almost to the point where I dread starting something new.

For instance, my new comic books list (I.e. Comics which are still unread by myself) consists of:

• Firefly: The Sting
• Fantastic Four: Behold Galactus
• Marvel Knights: Fantastic Four
• Mister Miracle
• Road of Bones
• Volumes 4, 5 and 6 of Locke and Key
• The Expanse
• Bad Luck Chuck
• Monstress Vol. 1
• The Pride Season 2
• Bullseye: Perfect Game (2 Issue story)
• 3 Motorcycle Samurai one-shots
• Stumptown Vol. 1
• Batman Ego and Other Stories
• The Immortal Hulk Vol. 1
• The Sheriff of Babylon
• Black Bolt Vol. 2
• Ta-Nehisi Coates' Black Panther Omnibus 1
• Wonder Woman Rebirth Omnibus 1
• Sgt. Fury Masterworks Vol. 1
• Jean Grey Vol. 1
• Americatown
• Skyscraper
• Milford Green

Meanwhile, there are also recently purchased (digital) versions of comics I previously owned that I have not yet read and so are considered 'unread' by Comixology.

• Mass Effect Omnibus 1 & 2
• Black Panther: Man Without Fear
• Charles Soule's Daredevil run
• Rick Remender's Uncanny X-Force run
• Immortal Iron Fist Omnibus 1 and 2
• Black Magick Volumes 1 & 2

I think you would agree that this is quite a substantial number of titles still to read (and that's before I even include the titles sent over by creators for review purposes).

Just a snippet of the digital comics I still need
to read. Notice the number at the top (I know,
not as extreme as some. But still....)

Now, you would think that this isn't really a problem as I have so many choices. Unfortunately, more and more I find it a struggle to decide what to read, eventually getting to the point that I just read something I've already gone through which I've enjoyed.

In fairness, this makes sense to a theory I had once heard of (which, as I found out later, is in Barry Schwartz' book, the The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less) which posits that having too many choices is actually more of a hindrance than a help, as an abundance of options makes it more difficult to make a final choice, eventually causing emotional and psychological issues. In the end, rather than being a liberation or choice to improve happiness, it all ends up being debilitating and having the opposite effect.

I'd say that this is my problem, that with far too many to choose from, I'm trapped in this unending indecision as my mind is overloaded by the excess that I've brought upon myself.

But why do I have such a problem choosing a comic to read? Well, in my opinion, I think it is this unconscious fear that the comic in question will actually be a far worse reading experience than I believe (or even hope) it to be.

For example, I've heard tremendous things about Immortal Hulk and it is due to this positive word of mouth that I now have a copy of the first trade waiting to be read. But what if it isn't as good to me as it is to everyone else? It is this case of Schrodinger's Cat in that if I don't open the box, then I will not know if the cat is dead (or in this analogy-less case, the comic is crap).

I've already had this problem thus far, in the case of the recently read Green Arrow run by Lemire and Sorrentino. This run was another fantastic thought of run, a really high mark of the New 52. However, because of it's praise, it took me almost a year to finally get around to it as I worried that it wouldn't live up to the hype.

Now, I worried about nothing there as Green Arrow was a damn good read, but this wasn't always the case. I picked up the Black Hammer omnibus about six months ago after hearing yet more praise about this series. However, upon cracking it open, I found that I didn't enjoy it half as much as the hype had made me believe I would.

Of course, this is a part and parcel of life as no form of entertainment across any medium is guaranteed to make you absolutely the happiest person alive. Therefore, why can't I just get stuck in and just take all comics as they come?

I should point out, I don't have this problem with the single issues on my pull list as I just immediately read them and take them as they come. So why is it so easy with singles and not trades?

In truth, I don't know. Nor do I know how to move past this rather annoying hang-up I have. Hopefully, my plan for the year to significantly reduce my impulse buys and avoid the sales on Comixology will help so I can reduce the backlog, and make such decisions easier.

As will my recent decision to start reading Spider-Man: Life Story, which (based on the first issue, which I thought was ... ok) will help me remember that not all comics need to be masterpieces for me to enjoy.

And that not everything is meant for me. All that matters is trying.